bctuck

I’ve avoided this for a long time. This being the need to address certain choices in my life, not my blog. Well, I’ve avoided the blog too. Maybe those to go hand in hand. But that ends now. You know, again. But for good, this time.

I here by commit to post something, even if its one word or one picture, at least four times a week until I’m a more balanced person. I will not use this blog as a whining post or a place of inner reflection, but as a place of outflow. Maybe I’ll write when I get to school in that “between” time when I’ve gotten to my desk but am evidently not ready to address my duties for the day because all I’ll do is browse websites and look at the news pictures for the day. Maybe I’ll write before I go to bed to assist in the relaxation process that is now needed for me to sleep and avoid insomnia. Regardless of when, how much, or about what, I will write and write I will.

My job at the moment (graduating graduate student) is to write anyway. However, I find that process neither easy nor enjoyable. It takes a long time for me to get out of my inner self enough to put productive words on the virtual page. I’m hopeful that another thing this consistent blogging will do is to assist in that process. If I can write on here, I can write on there, right? Yes. Because I say so.

I also intend on changing my mind on a number of things throughout what I assume will be a long and arduous process. People say you are happy if you choose to be, and now I choose to be. One way I think I can accomplish this is to rack up a bunch of posts, successfully shifting this task from, well, a task, to something I enjoy and look forward to as a way to express myself. My definition of which uses of time are “worth while” and which are “pointless” really comes from a frustration with the lack of tangible outcomes in my life. I have a few uses of time that do have immediate tangible outcomes, namely drawing and soon biking / running (even if that immediate tangible outcome is to feel tired and to feel like I’ve utilized my body), but I believe that writing on here is also a tangible outcome that may help me feel accomplished something for the day. All of these steps are good ones.

And there we have it. Even if it is the Royal We of just Me that is having it, as I’m now obviously writing for myself and the few others that may stumble upon the site now or in the future (Hi mom). Every step forward is worth the time to take it. So here I go. Stepping forward.